Tuesday, May 18, 2010


image by: fangedfem

you sat next to me in statistics class when first month of my college day. We made introduction each other, you asked me first, remember? :p
Formely, there wasn't special feeling, and heartbeating. Even, i thought, he was gadfly boy.
You're not handsome, you're not kind..okay, you're kind. But you never did something to makes me happy. Then, you're not smart. And there's nothing special on you.
But i'd realized, sometimes my eyes looked for you around my classroom. Sometimes, i lost control and staring at you over and over. And how embarrassed when i get caught. You became my own reason to go colloge.

I remember when for the first time i texted you, i had waited so long but you didn't reply yet.
I was shocked when you called with your father's number. I feel want to jump and dancing round my room. Just 11 minutes, but it was my precious time. Fortunately, we got same class everday. I dont know when my feeling bigger than before. I used all my own trick so we could come closer. I tried as i could, okay i admitted, we're come closer. You need me as i am. But different requirement.
I need you because you're my own reason to go college, no lie! You need me because i'm the one who helped you with your homework. It's hurt you know. But... honestly i can't let you in trouble with those homework. I always helped as i could.

From a reason, you became my own heroine as edward said hehe.
You can't imaginate how sad i am, if you didn't come. 1 day feel like 1 year. It called when a girl falling in love. It just one day, how about 2 days, 3 days or 1 weeks or 2 months ?! I should find a way so.. you can't be in my mind. That's why i looked for a job. In the end, oh.. not too bad.

When once a day, i saw your photo with a girl. A skinny white girl and i know she would be your new girlfriend. I cried for a night till i feel satisfied. I decided i should forget you. I removed your name in my mind, my contact phone, and my facebook's friend. It was hardest part. I told myself , we never known each other. For beginning was easy. I been busy with my job.

And when you were holiday, i knew you got an accident. I was't too afraid, because i thought it was a small accident ;p. Then, you came home and you'd realized we weren't friend anymore on facebook. You add me back, and unfortunately when with perforce i confirm your request, you were online! BANG! Without BA-BI-BU you asked me to picked up the phone. You asked me why i removed you from friendlist, i have no idea to answered. Because, answerd just one question it meant opened my secret. You thought, i wont be your friend anymore. Then, you told me you got an accident in Bali. I was happy, you needed me when you get a problem. But where were you when you're happy?

I just want to asking, why every i tried forget about you, and when i feel gave up... you came back to my life. Given all of your positif-attidude. Then you leave me alone with a fake hope.
You never know, how hurt it was.

this video accompany me when i was down.
taylor swift such an amazing singer <3

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